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3 years ago was Yesterday
December 1, 2010
Hard to believe Red's been gone for 3 years now. Since the completion of this book I published it to my web site and have had several people read, enjoy, cry and make comments on it's content. I am glad I wrote it and decided to add a final chapter to make it a very happy ending.
By the way, in addition to publishing my book on my web site, I have found a new soul mate. My present life with Don is divided between his home in De Leon Springs, my home on the Suwannee and our cottage in Maine. Yes, life continues to be amazingly wonderful, and Red is still around to help me on my journey; not as often as he was before but his presence is still quite obvious to me. I write this and smile as I realize all the clocks in the kitchen say 5:03, the numbers Source always sends for confirmation.
I had my first chiropractic appointment this morning and I know I am finally on the road to full recovery. My health had been failing miserably for the past 2 years; the only thing my medical professionals could determine was that my body was unable to digest anything. If anyone had asked me last week how long I expected to live I would have smiled and told them, “I'll be lucky if I am still on this earth plane in another year.”
My serious digestive problems began shortly after I met my new soul mate, now husband number 4. When we were getting to know each other in those first, exciting and fun days of a new relationship I told him I had built 3 houses with 3 husbands. He jokingly responded, “I won't make you build a house with me, Honey.” We may not build a house together but we make up for that by taking on lots of big projects. Recently we have purchased a mobile home park, renovated a couple of rental houses and most importantly, working on repairs at Camp Etna; the spiritualist camp in Maine where we met. In fact, the first day we met was our first project where we “fell in love at first sight.”
July 2009
While visiting friends in Bangor, Maine I'd picked up a copy of the Bangor Daily News and was flipping through it's pages at my parents' home wondering how I would finish out my summer. I'd left Florida jokingly titling this year's vacation as my “find a boyfriend trip” and after diligently looking for awhile in Atlanta, GA, Norfolk, VA and then in my home state of Maine I changed the title of my summer to “my happy to be alone trip.” I'd met a lot of nice men I didn't want to spend too much time with; men with habits I'd successfully eliminated from my life and wanted to keep it that way.
I remembered a brochure I'd been given last summer and couldn't locate from a spiritualist camp. The camp was somewhere in Maine, what was the name of it? It started with a “T”; maybe it was in this newspaper's in the church section.
I looked over the 2 pages of churches and smiled thinking of my Catholic upbringing and how blessed I am to be who I am and where I am. My dharma is as clear as a beautiful violet picture window; learning and teaching self-healing practices may not be lucrative, but it is rewarding and oh, so, necessary for so many. The journey I've traveled has been MOST interesting. Thanks to Red's insurance money, and my frugal nature, I am able to travel, work and play on my own schedule.
I smiled and thanked Red again and asked “Source” where should I go to finish my summer before heading to Omega in eastern New York to study with Donna Eden and her husband David Feinstein. I was delighted when I checked Omega's calendar to what classes were offered in the time frame of teaching my needing to teach a class at Lilydale and sure enough, the weeks preceding my commitment were made to order with one of Energy Medicine's greatest and best known healers. I'd seen a video of Donna while teaching in Ft. Lauderdale in the spring and said to the girls I'd viewed it with, “I will study with her.” I had already booked classes in Missouri in September to study with C. Norman Shealy, M.D., Ph.D. Founder of the American Holistic Association or as Carolyn Myss calls him in a “wizard-scientist-mystic-physician.” Before heading there I had also planned a trip to visit the ashram in Encinitas to which I was heading when I met the fiddle player. I was so excited with the way in which I was finishing out my 2 year stint of medical-spiritual-educational lessons.
I was disappointed to see there were no advertisements for a spiritualist camp that began with a “T” but there was a place called Camp Etna just south of Bangor; the directions sounded like it would be easy to find so I would check it out. I was on my way back to Bangor to spend some time with old friends from my “1st husband days”, to attend Bangor's yearly world-music festival and hopefully, to find some volunteer work. It had been a few weeks since I'd had my tools out and I was itching to run my saw. I laugh every time I think of my old friend Grainger saying, “A carpenter spreading spirituality? Hasn't that been done before?”
I left my parent's home on a beautiful Maine summer morning and turned into Camp Etna's driveway a little after lunch. I didn't care much for the color of the archway over their road but fell in love with the first building I saw. I pulled over immediately to take a photo of it's dilapidated porch. Source must have been smiling at me knowing I would be marrying the man of my dreams, whom I'd given up looking for, on that very spot.
After taking a few breaths of thanks I got back into my truck and drove below the arch to a corner where a woman was coming out of a large building with another dilapidated porch. If they intended on fixing any of these structures I had come to the right place! There were enough projects here to last several summers!
I got out of my truck and introduced myself to Cathy and the conversation turned to the fact we were both recently-widowed-women. We hugged, I taught her my bouncing exercise for quick energy and weight loss and then I told her I was looking for volunteer carpentry work. She laughed and said, “You came to the right place. Go see the man in the purple house!” pointing towards a purple cottage on the corner.
I drove down and parked on the lawn and approached 2 men standing in front of the purple house. The man who was closest to me looked to be about my age and the other was a bit older. When I said I was looking for carpentry work they smiled at each other, quizzically. When I added, “I have my own tools and will work for free,” they laughed.
The older one introduced himself as Don and then introduced his brother Chris. Don explained he would be tearing apart the porch on the Community Building tomorrow, "the first building you see when you enter the property," and then he'd begin rebuilding it on Thursday.
“I'm going kayaking tomorrow so you can tear it apart without me,” I smiled, “but I'll be back on Thursday to help you rebuild it.” For some reason Don had such an incredible energy aura about him I found it hard to look at him.
I got his phone number in case something came up to change my plans and asked for directions to the pond. He pointed down the hill and offered a towel for my use, or a shower or anything else I might need. I told him I was self sufficient and needed nothing and looked forward to helping him on Thursday. I headed down the hill and sat on the dock to breathe in the beauty of the water of my life.
I returned on Thursday, much to his surprise and delight, while he was kneeling beside a support post. He rose to greet me, thanked me for showing up and I asked him if he had any plans for what he was building. He took a board and drew the idea of his construction, we took measurements and I backed my truck up to use the tailgate as a workbench and began cutting boards.
About a half hour later he'd finished shimming the foundation and came to ask how I was doing. “I have 3 more of the 80 inch ones to cut,” I told him while measuring the 2x6 board.
“You can cut, measure and count? You are a keeper!” he exclaimed.
We spent the day working together and the next year loving each other and living together in the most remarkable relationship; literally never a cross word, not a single argument of any kind. We are both self-sufficient-workaholics who love life and every thing about it. Even the challenges.
The only problem we faced was my health and I suspected it had to do with the occasional beer, glass of wine or dessert I had been consuming during my summer celebration. The frightening symptoms I'd experienced after the brown recluse spider returned; dizziness, heart palpitations, chest pains, nausea, etc. I regularly felt as though I were drawing my last breath. One night Don took me to the emergency room and 3 hours and $3000 later they told me my potassium level was low but had no explanation why my blood pressure and pulse rate spiked for hours leaving my body shaking and exhausted.
Don was so supportive without focusing on my problems. I helped him with cleaning and painting rental homes when I could and stayed in bed when I had to; sleeping and chanting and being thankful for all the blessings in my life. I never asked why this was happening to me but was hopeful I would return to good health. At one point Don offered to move to a foreign country if I thought I could find better health care. He said, “I know we'll find what is wrong with you because God would not bring you to me and then take you away; that would be a very cruel joke. I have been waiting for you for too long.”
The day before the 3rd anniversary of Red's death I drug myself into the Deland Health Food Store for their 20% off day. I had been methodically testing every detox and nutritious supplement Source inspired me to purchase hoping to find a miracle cure. I knew I was getting sicker and sicker and spent much of my time experiencing out of body moments; periods of time where a warm glow would engulf me, bright lights would present themselves and bliss would overcome me. It enabled me to briefly escape the nausea and worry about my condition and I told Source I understood if I had to leave I was okay with it but I would love to stay around and help my sons and new husband on their journeys. It even hurt to touch my scalp now and to avoid thinking of the end of this life I would picture myself watching my future grandchildren playing by the creek on the mountain in Georgia. We create our own existence and our thoughts are instrumental in our creation.
My grocery cart was filled with new digestive enzymes, liquid vitamins, protein supplements, anything in hopes to get nutrition to my cells. It was very expensive but all my medical professionals; both eastern and western; had determined I simply was not digesting anything and my money would do me no good on the other side.
After checking out with my shopping cart-full of goodies I could hear my mother saying, “Diane, go to the bathroom before you leave.” It was strange because I didn't really have to use the bathroom but, “It wouldn't hurt to try,” she always told me. I smiled and did what I was told and thought, I'll have to call her tomorrow and try not to cry when I tell her Red's been gone for 3 years now.
I walked to the back of the store and saw a man setting up a sign which read “FREE SCREENINGS.” When I asked him what he was screening he answered, covering his mouthful of food, “Your nervous system.” I told him to swallow his food and I would be back after my bathroom visit. Hmmm, hadn't checked out my nervous system yet-wonder how he'll accomplish that here.
He put me on his specialized scaled when I returned and he said, “You weigh 9.5 lbs more on your right side then you do on your left,” and then he ran his fingers up and down my spine. “I suspect these bulges in your neck are causing you some heart issues and the bulges in your mid and lower back indicate your digestive system is working at less than 50%.”
I felt the wave of confirmation goosebumps engulf my entire being and nearly began crying with relief and pain. He had diagnosed me and given me permission to feel the now excruciating pain from the top of my head down my spine and through my right side all the way to my toes. I had chalked my occasional pain up to working too hard and old age and simply done more yoga when something hurt.
“When can you see me?” I asked. He got out his appointment book and scheduled me for the following day. I cried with relief all the way home thanking The Universe, The Source for It's direction. I smiled and thanked Red too since he is part of It All. As I drove home I also realized I'd felt so poorly lately I hadn't done much yoga and the lack of energy flow was making my problem worse exponentially. I would make myself struggle through some gentle poses today!
As soon as I got home I saw the inversion table we had purchased last fall for Don's back pain and said to myself, “First I'll hang and then some yoga and prayers.” Hanging upside down I began to feel relief from the pain and nausea and knew we had found what was causing my symptoms. My body was unable to digest anything and was totally-toxic. What an incredible lesson I was learning. My spine is the center of my Universe and it is what connects my brain to all my organs; it connects me to me. Who ever would have thought a compromised spine could cause such a wide array of symptoms.
The next day brought a more thorough exam and X-rays which revealed Phase 2 degradation of C3, 4, 5, etc. etc. ETC. all originating from an injury over 20 years old, according to the scar tissue and arthritis which had set in to my poor spine. My skull was literally crushing my brain stem and the nerves and vessels to my organs were being compromised by a skiing accident I'd had in 1987. What a revelation!
As I write this final paragraph in this final chapter I reflect on life and death and how everything really does happen for a reason. I am learning more every day about detoxing and teaching as I go, helping others to learn how important each one of us are to the Whole.
Life is a journey I am living to the fullest and realize my attitude of gratitude has allowed me to enjoy every moment, even the not-so-good moments. The Buddhists say, “Life isn't meant to be easy, it is meant to be real,” and I am REALLY thankful for every morning I wake up. First I smile and say, “Thank you,” and then I ask Source, “What can I do for you today?” I know with all the help from people in my life; here and in the hereafter; whatever happens, it'll be awesome!
Ooops, almost forgot, remember how I was on the way to Paramhansa's ashram in California when I met Red and lingered to live with the wonderful partner-gift Source had given me? Well, when I met Don my schedule changed. I was was SUPPOSED to leave Maine in August to teach and attend some workshops in New York. After the workshops I was going to FINALLY make my west coast trip, or as my friend Marty calls it, my "left-coast trip," to Encinitas, California to Paramhansa's ashram. I had a month before my classes at Holos University with Norm Shealy in Missouri.
I made it to Omega and Lilydale and Holos but instead of going to left-coast ashram I returned to Maine to fall in love. Once again I was on my way to the ashram when I received the gift of a life-partner. The moral of my story may be to serve Source and live a life of gratitude or, just maybe, if you want to find true love make plans to go to an ashram?
Blessings and Smiles, Diane
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