After thoughts……….……………October 30, 2008
In another month Red will have been gone for a year. It doesn’t seem possible that he has been gone that long and some days it doesn’t seem possible he is gone at all. With all the messages I believe I am getting from him it really seems like he is close by. Maybe I find comfort in these occurrences and believing the way I do. Maybe they are really from him and maybe they’re from The Universe he is in now and maybe they are just coincidences, but the miracles just don’t stop as long as my eyes are open to seeing them.
I have spent the past 4 weeks driving to Brooksville to help my fellow high school graduate turn his 3 bedroom house into a bed and breakfast. I went down to check out the area and what he was trying to do and decided the free time I had on my hands would be well spent helping him reach his goals. Besides, there are several very cool people in the area and one of the partners in my friend’s antique store teaches how to recognize and use your intuitive powers. Seems like, once again, by following my river of life and going with the flow I have discovered I am right where I belong.
The house is coming along well and we have experienced a few anomalies in this “haunted house on the hill;” footsteps in the middle of the night, things disappearing and tiles falling out of a light socket onto the dining room floor from the kitchen countertop down the hall. I have spoken to former employees of the Hill House, which use to be a storefront for ESP Botanicals. They said whenever angry words were spoken things would break but as long as everyone kept a positive attitude things would just happen to show there were spirits there. It has been fun experiencing what one might call poltergeists.
The miracles in my life keep happening in sweet synchronicity as well. Last week I got a new truck topper for my Toyota Truck. I found one on Craig’s List located about an hour south of Brooksville in Pinellas Park. I made arrangements by phone to have it installed and, that morning before I left, the owner of Hill House asked if I would mind picking up some doors. He’d found them on Craig’s list at a warehouse near St. Pete. When we checked the address of their location they were literally right around the corner from where I was having my truck topper installed. I told him I would be happy to pick up the doors.
When I loaded my truck for the trip I was not sure why I put my briefcase in the back but something told me to do so. Perhaps something was going to happen to delay me and I might need some work to do but I didn’t ask the question. I just put the briefcase in the truck. I follow my gut instincts and do what I am told to do.
As soon as I drove to the address of the Truck Topper sales and service I realized exactly why I had brought my briefcase. Directly across the street was a Social Security Office with an empty parking lot. I had with me the paperwork needed to apply for Red’s death benefit and update my name, which had never been changed from my first marriage. It all made sense to me now.
They installed my truck cap in no time at all. It was a perfect fit, the perfect color and half the cost of the one ordered in for me in Chiefland that didn’t fit; another one of those uncanny coincidences. I sat and talked for awhile with the gentleman who’d installed it. He was in obvious pain around the neck and shoulders and I offered to do a laser treatment on him. He readily accepted.
As I helped ease the pain in his neck with my Zero Point Global low level laser we spoke about healing and how important every moment of every day really is. He told me he was at risk for a heart attack and was very interested in some suggestions I had for his diet and exercise routine.
When I was done there I went across the street to the Social Security Office Building. I walked in and found out I only had two people ahead of me to see the representative. This was practically too good to be true.
My number was called and I sat down at the desk and handed my paperwork to the woman behind the glass. She was very kind and entered all the information needed for my name change. I was happy to get that corrected.
Once that was complete I told her I understood there was a death benefit I was entitled to from my husband who had died almost a year ago. She asked me if I was married to him at the time of his death and when I answered yes she asked me how many years I had been married. When I told her almost nine years she offered to make an appointment for me. I was entitled to a $255 benefit.
While she was waiting for the computer to bring up the office closest to my home she asked me how my husband had died.
“A heart attack, he was 51 years old,” I told her.
“I am so sorry for your loss,” she smiled sympathetically at me. She continued, “My husband died of a heart attack 5 years ago. I came home from work and found him on the bathroom floor. The water was running and his toothbrush was in his hand.”
“I am so sorry for your loss,” I told her. “How long were you together?” I asked.
“We were together thirteen years but only married for seven. I was not entitled to anything,” she said. I felt so much compassion for this woman behind the desk.
We talked for awhile longer about how strangely mechanical we were at the time of our losses. She said she remembered telling the emergency technicians she couldn’t go with them to the hospital until after she fed her dogs. Her husband was dead and her dogs were hungry.
I told her it was amazing how strong and business like people could be when in shock, almost as though something else was in control. She agreed there was definitely “something” that kicked in to make her take care of business and assumed the same “something” helps us to maintain composure and function somewhat normally.
The following week I kept my appointment with the Social Security Office in Gainesville. Once again, I didn’t have to wait long and met with a wonderful woman who also had lost her husband to a heart attack a few years ago. She had remarried and was living an entirely new life but still seemed to feel the presence of her late husband now and then.
I told her I was writing a book about the things that had happened after my husband died and she said she was looking forward to reading it. I have to finish writing this story in order to get it published.
But how do you stop writing about the most unusual wonderful synchronistic events which keep happening? Like this morning while I was working on Red’s newest CD, All Red-All Originals due to be released sometime in 2009. I took a break from the tedious labors of listening and choosing which songs and what order and went downstairs to tackle some of the boxes never unpacked from the house in Georgia. I lifted the lid of the first box to find it was part of Red’s postage stamp collection. When I focused what was in the very center of the box staring up at me I laughed and cried at the same time. There was the largest, most beautiful red butterfly stamp I had ever seen.
Or later that day when I took another break and decided to clean my desk off and found a piece of paper that I swear I had never seen before with Red’s scribbles on it saying;
Congratulations, your journey’s just begun.
I know you work hard… don’t forget to have some fun.
But if the pressure ever gets to you,
Just remember it’s important to do.
Realize you’re never expected to be perfect in every way.
It’s a beautiful view of the bay,
Sunset’s violet hue,
Now go out and save the world,
We’re all counting on you.
Love, Red
Well, honey, I am doing the best I can. Thanks for all your help.