Diane's Detox...Let's Heal

The bathtub is filling while I contemplate the latest curveball the Universe has thrown me.

The court called to let me know the 2^nd hearing I’d scheduled had been cancelled and they couldn‘t tell me when the judge would be well enough to hear my Testamentary Case. As I listened to their apologies all I could think about was thank God I wasn’t the one going to the hospital.

I suggested I reschedule for when I knew I could return in May. The woman said that would be fine and put me on the schedule for the Thursday before my birthday. I figured if she wasn’t healthy by then they would have had to have gotten another judge.

I had spent the last few days cleaning and enjoying my property and as I sat in the bath I realized I didn’t have to stay any longer. I could pack everything up tomorrow and head south. I had work to do there and I had accomplished plenty here. I felt good.

I could send the neighbors a letter explaining why I had left and which possessions I wanted returned when I came back in May with my sons. The neighbors didn’t have a key anymore and I didn’t believe they would try to get in without a key.

I will take everything of value along with all the lyrics and cassettes and when I get back to the Suwannee I will have lots of music to work with and friends to help me when I need it.

Funny, when I had driven down my driveway and couldn’t get past the tractor in the middle of the road this morning I realized how uncomfortable I was here alone. I’d thought about how I wanted to get out of here soon mostly because I didn’t want to say something I would regret. Once words are spoken they can never be taken back. The Universe has no rewind and erase button. Guess the Universe took care of my quicker getaway. Thank God I find going with the flow easy.

There will be a lot of work to do tomorrow, but after packing and a good cleaning I could have one more bath before I shut off the propane, turned on the bug foggers and headed for Patty’s house.

I’d have one last dinner in Atlanta in northern Georgia and head south on Wednesday. I will be glad to get back to the Suwannee. I love it here at the mountain but my home is way down upon the Suwannee River, not so far, far away, only about 6 hours.

I accomplished a lot this trip including helping to preserve the back deck with motor oil to keep the ants from eating it and enclosing it with tin, lots of yard work and lots of cleaning inside and out. Five trips to the dump and I am ready to go home. Hate to say it, but I was glad the hearing was cancelled. Sorry the judge had to go back to the hospital but I was ready to leave. My flow was taking me downstream to the Suwannee.

There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home. The mountain house was nice to visit but I wouldn’t want to live there.

I went into town to let Dr. Susan take a look at how well my wound had healed and to see what she thought of the white-wormlike-puffy-smile appearing inside the circumference of the wound. It was beginning to be painful as it swelled and stretched the new skin.

“That’s a flat wart. You must have come into contact with someone who had a wart while your wound was open. It’s a virus that travels through the air and it seems to have found a home on your arm,” she informed me.

“Great. Any suggestions as to what I can do to get rid of it?” I asked her while I was thinking to myself aren‘t I the lucky one!

“Maybe a castor oil patch, or the Golden Yellow Drawing suave and if those don’t work I’ve heard a banana peel can kill the virus,” she gave me a few alternatives. I would start with the castor oil and go from there.

I stopped at the health food store and picked up a bottle of castor oil and, since I carried a box of bandages with me now, I put some oil on the spot and put a bandage over it and headed home.

As I left the parking lot and headed west on Rte 19 I decided it was time to get out the ZOOM recording machine Red left behind to hear what was on it. I had been very nervous about turning the machine on, afraid of destroying what was in its memory. However, I knew it was time. Besides, it would take my mind off my painful arm.

I headed to the house thinking, “Yes, today’s the day to start the music projects,” and wondered how difficult it would be. I’d had lots of offers of help from friends in the recording industry to help with the machine but I believed I could handle listening to the songs by myself. I was pretty certain Red would be there to help me.

I arrived at home, had some lunch and got the machine out of the plastic container it had lived in since Red had purchased it years ago. I set it on the foot of the bed in the spare bedroom, plugged it in, grabbed the notepad he’d kept in the plastic container and pulled my chair up as closely as I could.

As I turned it on I felt a warmth come around me, as though Red were here to help, and a tear ran down my cheek.

I put the headphones on and thought of all the times I watched my husband work with this machine. He was always so happy when he was making music on stage but I think he was happiest making his own music. He was so proud of his accomplishments but so shy about playing his original music for others. Afraid they weren’t perfect enough, I guess.

I pushed the power button and picked up the manual and went to project number one, dialed up the beginning and pushed play.

The music came through the headphones as clear as a bell and as I listened to the recordings my husband put on this machine I felt so blessed to have had him in my life. He was a great guy, a good husband and a genius when it came to making music.

I listened to project after project of songs he had recorded and put on his first CD we’d called Back Home, his second CD we’d called Red’s Acoustic Adventures. Even though I didn’t have to listen to the whole song I did because they were stories about our lives together and I really loved his music. The third CD he’d called Great Big World and the title cut was the song he had written about the neighbors who had just taken his belongings. It was written years ago about how he’d felt about them and their booze.

I had heard all these songs before but had never taken the time to write the lyrics down. I got a pen and put them to paper smiling and crying and smiling some more.

I'm tired of these angry words.

I'm tired of the games.

You're acting like children now.

Have you gone insane?

I'm tired of the jealousy.

I'm tired of it all.

But I'm gonna take a ride

and it ain't to no mall.

CHORUS:

I don't wanta hear anymore.

It's a great big world

I don't need to see you no more.

It's a great big world,

And there's so much to see in this great big world,

In this great big world.

You held it so deep inside.

Never thought it would show.

We used to be real good friends,

But you would never know.

You used to live wild and free.

Now you're in a cage.

Last time I saw you,

You were in a drunken rage.

CHORUS + echo great big world

I'm over the things you said,

No, I don't want a drink.

Take all of the whiskey you got

Pour it right down your kitchen sink.

You won't have to think about me anymore,

I don't need to do anything now

That'll even the score.

CHORUS

The song entitled, Since I Met You, was written about how I changed his life. He gave it to me for Christmas one year when we couldn’t afford to buy gifts for each other. It was the nicest Christmas gift I ever received from anyone.

I spent a lot of time on the border line

Between right and wrong,

Not thinking about what I was living without,

Just singing my songs.

Livin' my life like I didn't have a single thing to do,

But all that's changed since I met you,

All that's changed since I met you.

I was a typical dreamer, a gambler, a schemer taking it slow.

Taking advantage of every advantage then moving along.

I never thought about sticking around.

Believe me girl it’s true.

But all that's changed since I met you,

All that's changed since I met you.

CHORUS:

Since I met you I've been falling harder every day,

Deeper in a love I never thought would come my way,

Saying little things I never thought I'd say.

CHORUS

When it's all said and done

I'll be the one standing by your side.

We'll be sailin away or

Just as happy to look up at a beautiful sky.

Spendin' our time doin' little things I never thought I'd do,

But all that's changed since I met you,

All that's changed since I met you,

All that's changed since I met you,

All that's changed since I met you.

One of my favorite “fun tunes” he wrote was about his grandfather giving him his fiddle. I asked him once if the story was true to which he answered, “My grandfather gave me his fiddle. The rest is about me and I use my artistic license to lie a bit.”

They say old Billie is the best fiddle player,

In the state of Louisiana.

He plays all the parties with a dog house bass,

A guitar and piano.

He played every tune that I'd ever heard

But he played 'em his own way,

And just when you'd think he was through pickin'

He'd turn to the people and say,

CHORUS

“Rosin up a bow and pass it my way,

I pick up my fiddle and play it all day.

Never can tell, I might stay,

If you give me a little more whiskey.”

He played an old fiddle with cat gut strings

An one old fishin' line.

He'd pick up his bow and drag it across,

And make that old box whine.

He drank like a fish and had a good time

and put on a hell of a show.

He loved the women and he loved the whiskey

And he taught me all that I know.

He'd say:

CHORUS

I knew he led a good life by the twinkle in his eyes,

I knew that I could be like him, if I tried.

A week to the day before he died,

He handed me that fiddle.

He said, “Son this lady's like all the rest,

She can be a life long riddle”.

In every swamp near Ponchatrain,

From Shreveport to Monroe

Grandpa's memory and his fiddle are here

With me everywhere I go.

I say:

CHORUS

CHORUS

Then I began to listen to songs I had never heard before realizing he must have been getting ready to release another CD. I listened and cried and tried not to be angry with him for never playing these for me as I put the lyrics on paper. They were about our lives together and so very sweet.

NAKED BY THE BAY

There's nothin better in life,

Than an ice cold beer and a beautiful wife,

In a picture perfect sunset, every day.

I've got it all right here, it's all so perfectly clear.

That this is where I wanna stay.

Naked by the bay,

Naked by the bay.

I've got some really good friends,

And it's a lucky thing, 'cause my life depends,

On all of the beautiful places they let us stay.

I want to thank 'em one and all,

At each and every port of call.

This is where I wanna stay,

Naked by the bay.

Naked by the bay.

I guess I'd say I miss you most,

When we're both runnin' round

From coast to coast.

I think about grabbin' you and runnin' away.

'N take you to that special place

Where we found our love, face to face.

And see if we can take a little time to play.

Naked by the bay.

Naked by the bay.

Naked by the bay.

Naked by the bay.

What do you say, what do you say.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Naked by the bay.

Let's get away, let's get away.

Yeah baby.


When I listened to this next one I smiled at his use of “artistic license.” We always took a blanket with us on our walks in the woods but we had only been together for 9 years, it just seemed like we had known each other since we had been twenty-two.

Blanket on the Ground

I can't believe it's been so long

Since I laid eyes on you.

Seems like only yesterday

We were twenty-two.

We’ve been growin up so long

It's hard for us to change.

The kids are gone, they're movin on,

Well let's fly off to Spain.

CHORUS

Well, I can still see you layin on the blanket on the ground.

When the words came tumblin through.

I can still see you layin on the blanket on the ground,

On that perfect night with you.

Mmmmmmm.

You tried to make it easier, I thought I could too.

I know you still believe in me and I believe in you too.

We can't let this fade away, not without a fight.

No need to sleep on it, even if it takes all night.

CHORUS

Hmmmm mmm mmm

So low, so, so low....feel so low...

We both tryin to do our best, we do our very worst.

There’s times I know we both were sure, we were truly cursed.

But being civilized, we learned how to cope.

It got so much easier, when we both gave up dope.

CHORUS

On the ground...Yeah, Yeah, Yeah

On that perfect night with you. On that perfect night with you.

I can see you sayin, I can see you sayin, I can still see you,

On that blanket on the ground when it all came tumblin through.

Yeah it did. I can still see you, I can still see you, still see you...

After several hours of tears, listening and transcribing I realized I didn’t have to finish this job all in one night. The only person pushing me was me.

I’d spent the last couple days listening to music, writing down lyrics, and tending to my arm; applying Castor Oil and the Golden Suave alternately to my smiley wart. It was still growing and getting more painful as it stretched my newly formed skin.

I was determined to heal this wound. I had just accomplished healing a brown recluse spider wound that “couldn’t be healed” and I felt I was doing a good job of healing my heart, so I wasn’t going to give up.

I was not going to apply any harsh chemicals on my new pink skin and I was sick and tired of having to deal with my arm. I just wanted to be over this chapter of healing. Something told me the banana peel trick was going to work so I ate my morning banana and cut a piece of its skin for my wart. I ate a banana almost every day so getting a fresh piece of peel every 24 hours would be easy.

I placed the skin with the squishy white side down on the smile on my arm. It burnt as though I had placed a hot ember on it. I put a large bandage over the top of it and realized there was some kind of chemical reaction occurring on my smiley face wound.

Later that night I decided to have another banana because I really wanted to see what was happening to my arm-smile. I was amazed at what I saw when I pulled the peel off. There was a black mark on the piece of white peel smiling back at me, mirroring the wart on my arm. I put a fresh piece of peel on the wound and felt the burning sensation once again. I knew this was going to work. I smiled and realized I was going to miss my smiley face but I wasn’t going to miss dressing my arm every day! Perhaps I will carry a smiley face scar to remind me to SMILE, slow down and appreciate life, no matter what happens!

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