Chapter 15
February 14, 2008……My First Valentine’s Day
This morning I stopped at Stacey’s to finish producing the Bruce and Red DVDs. I’d been given the go ahead with their production after discussing it with Bruce. He was leaving it all up to me to create a product for their fans.
I was confident with Stacey’s help we’d have a great DVD of the “Dynamic Duo of Folk” to sell. I would bring the finished product to Key West with me next week. Here I was folding pieces of paper with photos of my sweetheart inserting them into plastic cases on Valentine’s Day.
I could feel the tears coming as I looked at that “Big Ole Red Smile” and realized I really didn’t want to cry right now. Not only was there not enough time to get everything done but I had cried all the way over to her house and my sinuses had finally cleared. I didn’t want to get them all clogged up again.
So, right on cue, Stacey’s printer ran out of ink and my cell phone rang. I looked at my phone to see who it was and it was my new friend, my new-inherited brother, the psychic from the trading post.
I got up and walked outside to talk to him while Stacey looked for another ink cartridge.
“Are you ok? I felt as though you were calling to me, little butterfly,” he said in his caring tone.
“Thanks for calling. Your timing is impeccable,” I told him. We talked for awhile and I promised to stop and see him on my way to Alachua tonight. I was going to a group chant I had seen advertised for this evening. My sweetheart wouldn’t be here to celebrate this Valentine’s Day so I was delighted when I found there was going to be a chant for world peace and love. Why not be part of a group and immerse myself in spiritual love and caring?
After I assured him I was ok I went back in and finished printing, cutting and assembling the DVDs. I loaded them into my truck and headed to The Center to teach my morning yoga class.
When I arrived I could see my students were already gathering. This was their last class of the session and I was so proud of their progress. They now realized yoga could help them achieve their goals in life, whatever their goals may be. I love helping people who are just beginning in yoga; teaching them how to breathe, focus and stretch their bodies gently is so rewarding.
“Heavenly Father, Divine Mother and all Saints of all religions, bless us and our families on this beautiful Valentine’s Day. May everything we think, say and do today, and every day, be done out of love. Namaste,” I closed with our prayer and then continued, “Thank you all for being part of my life.”
As we all hugged each other I promised to be in touch with them when I did my spring classes. I wasn’t sure of the start date as it depended on when I came back from the Keys.
I drove home thinking how blessed I was to be part of a center where we were really making a difference in peoples’ lives. I realized I was doing exactly what I was supposed to be doing. These thoughts gave me some comfort as I cried in my loneliness. Stop this, Diane. You know how hard it is to drive when you are crying. What are you going to fix yourself for dinner? There’s fish in the freezer.
I cooked myself a small piece of flounder and wilted some spinach. It was going to be a lot easier to watch my weight living alone, of that I was certain. I was happy with a little bit of protein and a small portion of veggies. No need for wine at the table every night any more.
As I left my house I realized how much my life was changing as a result of my husband’s death. If he were alive he would be working in Key West and I would be sitting at the Hogs Breath Saloon, drinking a beer, and watching him play music. Instead, I was on my way to a Universal Love Chant at a temple in Alachua to pray for the healing of Mother Earth. Talk about dancing to a different drummer!
Not that either is better, or healthier or more politically correct. It was just two completely different worlds. I had the opportunity to mold my new life into exactly what I wanted it to be. I would always miss my fiddle player but I had to begin to look at his end as a beginning, as a gift. What am I always saying? Life is a gift, that’s why we call it the present. Thank you, sweetheart, for my present, my past and my future.
I stopped at my psychic friend’s house on the way to the chant, not only to see how he was doing, but to ask him if he wanted to go with me. I knew he would decline but I thought it only right to ask my new friend if he wanted to go along.
We sat on his porch rocking in the chairs we had rocked in at our first meeting seven days ago. We had become fast friends. I wondered if we had known each other in a past life.
“Red’s energy came to me during meditation this morning. He said you will be severing your ties with some girls in the Keys soon,” he explained to me. I looked doubtfully at him and said, “Those girls have been friends of mine for a long time, years longer than Red was in my life.” He looked at me, put up his hands, raised his eyebrows and said, “I’m just the mailman.”
“Red also told me he wanted you to know he would be able to help you more now he is on the other side than he would if he were still alive,” he said very somberly. “His body was very tired and he couldn’t keep living the life he had been living. It was just a matter of time…” he stopped as a gust of wind blew the wind chimes as though Spirit World was blowing in agreement.
I drove off with a smile on my face. I was so glad I had met him. So glad he was who he was and so glad to be going to a Universal Love Chant at a temple I’d never been to before.
I had never been to downtown Alachua before, either. As I drove in to the quaint little place I found
the temple without any trouble at all. I was walking up to the door and pulling my cell phone out of my pocket to shut it off when it rang. I looked at the number and it was Red’s fan, and my friend Garry, from England. I knew I had to take the call. He had been very ill and probably needed someone to talk to. My conscience wouldn’t allow me to let it go to voice mail.
“Hello, Garry. How’s it going today?” I asked with as bright a tone as I could muster.
“Not so good, Di. It looks like they are going to have to take my leg,” he said, trying not to cry too hard. This was something he had suspected for awhile but it sounded like they had made the final decision.
“Oh, Garry. I am so sorry. When will they do your surgery?” I asked him, as I watched the crowd of people gathering in the temple preparing for the service.
“Very soon, Di. Will you post my hellos on the Bruce and Red website and tell them what is going on for me? I won’t be able to get online for awhile and I don’t want them to worry. I am so sorry to call and ask you to take care of this for me. I am sure you are busy and this must be a very sad day for you. I have been thinking about how you have to be without your sweetheart on sweetheart’s day,” he said, tearfully.
“I am happy to post your message on the blog for you. I’m doing ok today. In fact, I am at a temple and am getting ready to shut my phone off. They are gathering inside and I am sorry to cut you short,” as soon as the words came out of my mouth I realized what I had said and waited for him to come back with a joke. We always said things to make each other laugh.
“Ouch. Don’t say that. They are going to cut me short!” he laughed.
“Oh, for heaven’s sake,” I joked back with him, “You weren’t using that leg anyway.”
I’d worked for the past decade for a quadriplegic and an amputee and knew they always loved to crack a joke whenever possible about their conditions. Garry had been in a wheelchair for over a year now and had done quite well retaining his sense of humor, or in his case, humour.
“I guess it will just be one less leg to wash, won’t it?” he laughed. “Go to your service and sing a few chants for me, will you?” he finished in his delightful English accent.
“You’ve got it; one chant for the guy across the pond. Take care and keep me informed,” I finished, wishing I could reach through the phone lines and give him a hug. Poor guy had been through a lot. We all have our burdens to bear.
I shut my phone off and went inside, pleased to find a spot directly in front of the stage about four feet away from the girl who had now started to play the most interesting drum I‘d ever seen.
This drum was square and wooden and she sat on top of it while tapping on the sides, the front and stomping her feet. Her ankles had shell anklets around them, so she was tapping, beating and jingling the most exquisite rhythm. I hoped Red’s energy was in the room, he would have appreciated how much work it was to make that much noise sound so good.
The host of the chant stood and welcomed everyone. While he was explaining how the evening would progress the light’s shut off and turned back on a few times.
“Do we have a visitor?” he queried. I just smiled. I was pretty certain my sweetheart was there. They had some strange noises in the sound system and the lights dimmed and brightened a few more times. They decided to go on with the show expecting everything to settle down eventually, which it did.
The man who would lead us in the chanting said, “I have done a Valentine’s Chant for the past four years. You won’t find many couples where both people want to be here on Valentine’s Day. I want to thank my partner in life for being with me today.” He smiled at his lovely percussionist.
So many thoughts were going through my head. The fact he had worked on Valentine’s Day for the past four years sounded like something Red would have said from the stage. My husband always had a hard time saying, “No,” to work but he was at a point in his life where he wanted to take time off and spend special days someplace besides a bar.
But if Red were alive I certainly wouldn’t be sitting in this temple whether he‘d been working or not. The leader of the chant knew what he was talking about when he said it was rare to have both people in a couple want to be present at a function like this. We would spend the evening chanting Sanskrit words in order to help heal the earth.
It was hard to keep the tears from flowing but I did my best and joined in with the chanting. The leader would say a series of words and we would repeat them. The beautiful sounds, the unfamiliar words, and the warm and loving energy filled the dimly lit room.
The two hours of singing and chanting went by much too quickly. I felt rejuvenated, reborn, and my energy was whirling. I felt like I wouldn’t need my truck to drive home in, I would be able to fly there. I wanted to personally thank this man for working on Valentine’s Day.
I waited for an opportunity to talk to him and walked up and said, “Thank you so much for being here today. My soul mate began his new life in eternity eleven weeks ago and you are so right. If he were alive today there would have been no way we would have been here together.”
He smiled at me and gently said, “I am sorry for your loss. I hope you are able to bond with his soul now and enjoy a new life together.”
“Thank you. I am doing my best,” I said as others approached us. “I also wanted to say the dimming of the lights and the noises in the sound system may very well have been him saying hello.” “It probably was,” our lead chanter agreed, “I felt as though there were many spirits here helping us tonight.”
He gave me a big hug and I thanked him, choking back the tears.
As I walked out into the night air I looked up at the stars and wondered what it would be like in eternity all the time. I have had glimpses through meditation and other practices but to be there all the time must be pure bliss. I must make a point of studying more about what was on the other side of death’s door when I get back from the Keys.
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